I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
