i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
