I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
