Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
