Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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