im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
