Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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