now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
