well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
