I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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