paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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