You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
