I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
