do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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