I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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