He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
