Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she peed on how many people?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
