Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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