I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
