Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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