quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The power of my boobs compel you
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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