I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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