i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
