Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
