Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
