whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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