i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
