Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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