OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
