you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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