Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
