she was so not down for the gang bang
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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