There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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