Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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