Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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