I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
