Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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