I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
