just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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