you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
