just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
