Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
