i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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