fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
