I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
