You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
