found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
