just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
