If that was your dad, he is hot
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
