just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
