My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
