I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
